Decisions...decisions...

By Rajah Patpaw Purr

As an aging feline, it is only natural fur me to look back on my life and decide who has earned the right to my food and water bowls when I die. This purrsonage must have served me loyally, yet left an unmistakable imprint on my habits and life in general. Sadly, my meowmie died when I was only a kitten, so her influence was lost to me. My fellow felines don't do much of anything different than moi, so that leaves the hoomins in my life. I detest grandmeowie, except when I want food of course. There is, however, one who fits the requirements I placed forth. My meowmie has loyally served me, kept me company, and influenced me the most out of all the purrsonages I know.

My meowmie is a loyal servant. She gives me a pillow to sleep on every night, even if it means her head must rest on none. She understands that when I want to be comfortable, my needs must be met instantly or the world will come to an end. Thus, my water bowl never lacks fresh water, my food bowl fresh purina special diet cat food, and my litter pan fresh cat litter. Granted, she was slow to learn this, but her service makes my life easier. She even brought home a collar and leash so I can take her on walks. And, when walks are out of the question, she will pull the very laces from her shoes to provide me with entertainment. My meowmie is the best hoomin I have ever owned.

My meowmie has kept me company through thick and thin. She used to go outside at night to cuddle me when grandmeowie didn't let me come inside my own house. Even when I was sick and ready to fall over with my cute little pawsers poking up in the air, she rushed to my side and coaxed me back into her life. Once, meowmie was petting my head and she noticed this horrid scab behind my ear. It popped to reveal a deep, deep tooth mark with pus spurting out. She kept cleaning it and putting nice pain numbing antibiotics in it until it got better. Meowmie also paid the huge vet bill furrum my near-death experience resulting furrum a d*g mauling, effen though the nasty hoomin who owns the dog wouldn't pay. She told me she was so happy I was still in her life. My meowmie has been a loyal companion who stays by my side no matter what happens.

Because meowmie has been so faithfur and submissive to me, she has influenced me more than anyone else. Befur I met meowmie, I was a shy kitty who thought hoomins were mean creatures that made me uncomfortable so they could plop down wherever they want. Meowmie taught me that hoomins are really lonely purrsonages who will do anything fur love. Because I know this, I extended my paw out to other kitties and am preaching my meows of Feline World Domination. There's so much that I've learned furrum meowmie since I took her into my possession. She most definately deserves at least my food bowl.