About the Easter Bunny
by Henri of Twin Brooke
It seems to me, I, Henri of Twin Brook, can never take a much needed nap without interruption of one type or another. On April tenth, one day before Easter, I was sleeping peacefully, sprawled out on the desk near the computer room window. Visions of butterflies flitted through my mind. Small rodents danced on the front lawn. Birds swooped and soared beyond the reach of my paws. I was a happy cat, fully immersed in my dreams. Then I heard the loud scratching on the window and the high pitched squeak of my friend Raymond Hazelwitz, rodent activist. “Henri, wake up!!! Wake up!!! We need your help!”I opened my eyes, blinking in the strong sunlight. I glared at the assemblage which had gathered beneath the window. There was Raymond Hazelwitz, Jerome, a huge rabbit with the biggest feet I have ever seen, and a motley crew of bunnies with floppy ears and sad faces. Jerome didn’t look too happy either. Jerome, I must inform you, is the city’s official Easter Rabbit, spelled with capital letters.
I yawned, stretched and pried the window open. Raymond pulled himself under the sash and stood up, smoothing his ruffled fur. “Pussycat, we need your help! Well, at least Jerome needs your help...You remember, Jerome the Easter Bunny? You do, don’t you?” he chattered loudly.
“How could I forget,” I meowed, sleepily. “I believe that last year, Jerome broke his foot and you recruited all the cats in the neighborhood to help deliver goodies to the children of this city. Wearing rabbit ears on my head and lugging Easter baskets was not a high point in my life. I looked really goofy! But tell me, Raymond, what is Jerome’s problem this year? Obviously, his feet appear to be functional.”
Raymond shook his head. “It’s worse! He really needs your help! There are no dyed eggs for the baskets!”
“How come?” I asked, not really too interested in the rabbit’s dilemma “Doesn’t he have an assistant to help him out with the egg cooking and dying?”
“That’s the problem, pussycat. He does have an assistant. His name is Radcliff. Jerome told him to dye the eggs and put them into a bushel basket when finished. He forgot to mention to Radcliff, to cook the eggs first.......”
“Oh, dear....” I hissed. “That could be the prelude to a disaster, I should think...?”
Raymond sighed. “It certainly was! After Radcliff dyed the eggs, he tossed them into a big basket. Of course he never looked to see the results of his egg toss. What a mess! Jerome was stunned! That was the first time, I have ever seen a rabbit cry! It was heart wrenching! You will help us, won’t you Henri?”
It was my turn to sigh. “What exactly do you want me to do, Raymond?” I meowed. I knew I would probably regret asking that question.
“I’ve rounded up all the rats in the area. We are going to go over to the super market and get two gross of eggs. That’s twenty-four dozen, in case you don’t know and then we thought about bringing them here so you and your house mates could boil them up and then dye them.....” Raymond had a hopeful glint in his eye.
Jerome looked over the window sill and stared me straight in the eye. “You will help me, won’t you Henri?” he whimpered. “I’ll be in an awful lot of trouble with the Big Guy if I can’t deliver the baskets with dyed eggs in them The children expect dyed eggs.”
I can’t stand to see a rabbit cry either and at the sight of Jerome’s tears, I blurted out my answer. “Of course we’ll help you, Jerome! My persons will be away until Tuesday so we will have the entire house to ourselves! We’ll boil up the eggs, let them cool and then dye them! It will be the experience of a lifetime!” Quickly, I called my army of together. “Sidney! I want you to run next door and get Max! Helen, go down the street and get Penelope. If she is sleeping, wake her up. Tell her it’s an emergency! Erika, get the big pots up from the basement. I will help you.” At that point, Jerome broke down in sobs and clasped me to his chest, almost smothering me with his furry ears.
Raymond took off with about fifty rodent friends for the super market. Erika and I went to the basement to get the big kettles and brought them into the kitchen. After placing them on the stove, we filled them with water. Erika slipped once while standing in the kitchen sink and got her tail quite wet but that was the only mishap. When the kettles were filled with water, I turned on the gas jets. Fortunately, the burners light up all by themselves or I would have had a problem. Not having an opposing thumb to handle a match really has its drawbacks. Exhausted, Erika and I leaned back against the kitchen wall, our hind legs stretched out in front of us and waited for the rat brigade to arrive.
I was nearly asleep when the sound of rodent voices broke through the silence of the evening. “Give me some rats, who are stout hearted rats who will fight for the rights they adore!” Their voices soared as their hearts swelled with pride and compassion. Raymond led the procession carrying two cartons of eggs over his head. Each of the fifty plus rodents carried two cartons of eggs. Later, Raymond Hazelwitz told me that only one rat dropped the eggs he was carrying but returned to the market and got two more cartons. One by one, the rats filed through the kitchen door and placed the cartons of eggs on the floor. One by one Erika and I gently placed the eggs into the nearly boiling water. Soon after, Sidney and Helen arrived with Max and Penelope. Sparky, Penelope’s house mate decided to come along and help out as well.
We had to wait until the eggs were thoroughly cooked and then cooled. While we waited the rats entertained us with a medley of Barry Manilow songs as we cats sniffed cat nip. We were overcome with a glow of comradery and catnip spirit. Erika and Helen had begun to take mugs and coffee cups from the cupboard and racks and place them on the table. Carefully they filled them with water and then added the dye. “I think,” meowed Helen, “that it would be best if Sidney weren’t allowed anywhere near the eggs or the dyes.”
“We could send him on a long journey which would keep him away for a few hours, or days or weeks or maybe months,” chattered Raymond.
“That would overkill,” I suggested.
“And unkind. Not that I feel particularly kindly toward Sidney much of the time.......”
“Okay,” admitted Raymond, “I’ve got an idea.....” Cautiously he approached Sidney. “Sidney my dear kitty friend, how would you like to go and fetch Clarence. I think he would enjoy helping us with the eggs.”
Sidney hissed at Raymond. “You just want to get rid of me! You don’t want me to have any fun! You’re a mean bad rat! That’s what you are, Raymond, a mean, bad rat and I don’t like you!”
“Well I don’t like you either, Sidney, but before I pull your whiskers, go over to Belden Street and get Clarence! That’s an order from the high command!” Raymond puffed out his chest and flexed his biceps. His lip curled back from his gleaming white teeth.
“Okay”, purred Sidney, backing away from the irate rodent. “See ya later.” And off he went, slamming the garden gate behind him.
“Clarence doesn’t live on Belden Street, Raymond,” I meowed.
“I know that, pussycat, but it will take a while before that slow-witted feline will figure it out. In the meantime, we will dye some eggs. Attention all rodents! Man your posts or to be more specific, rat your posts. And keep the dye away from your tail and fur!” Raymond then leaped onto the table and inspected the mugs and cups of dye which Helen had prepared. She sat on the edge of the table licking her paws. Her tongue was a deep purple.
Believe me when I tell you that it is not a simple task for cats to dye Easter eggs. Not having that all important opposing thumb makes holding an egg quite difficult. The eggs slipped and slide through our paws, falling into the solutions of dyes, splattering and splashing colored water all over the place. Max, our fluffy tailed kitty from next door, took it upon himself to wipe up the many messes created from our lack of paw skills. Unfortunately he used his voluminous tail as a mop and before the evening was finished, his rear appendage had acquired numerous colors. It could compete with any of the colorful Easter eggs that had been created by the group of rabbits, rats and cats who had gathered here. “I’m not sure,” meowed Max, “how I will explain this to the folks at home.” He held up his tail for all to inspect.
“It’s a wonderful tail!” shrieked Jerome, sobbing into his paws. “It is a banner, representing the efforts of this wonderful group of animals who have come together to aid a poor defenseless rabbit. I salute you, Max. Wave the banner proudly. Wave the banner so everyone can see.......”
“Don’t get carried away, Jerome!” growled Raymond Hazelwitz. “Oh look who’s coming through the gate. None other than Clarence and Sidney! Oh happy days!” He frowned and turned his attention back to the egg he was decorating with red dots.
“Oh goodie!” meowed Sidney. “We got back in time to help dye the eggs! Let me have an egg! Get out of my way! Here I come!”
“I think I’ll sit this out, if you don’t mind,” growled Clarence. “Instead I will serenade you hard working creatures with a medley of my favorite Easter songs beginning with “In Your Easter Bonnet.”
“I may die!” squeaked Raymond, covering his ears with his paws.
“Be strong!” I counseled covering my ears with my paws. Helen assessment of Sidney’s proclivity toward disaster was becoming a truth. He attacked egg dying with the same aggression he would exhibit toward a bug crawling up a window pane. The results were about the same. The bug would be splattered and the kitchen took on the hues of every color in the rainbow. It took every cat, except Sidney of course who was too weary from his artistic pursuits to help, all of the rabbits and at least thirty rats to get the room back into order. Only a few streaks of color remained on the sink and the table. Poor Max had to sit outside because every swish of his tail undid all the cleaning.
Finally everything was done. The eggs were dyed beautiful colors and placed carefully into the dozens of Easter baskets which had been brought over by a group of racoons who upon hearing of Jerome’s plight, had volunteered their services. We all celebrated with glee in our hearts and catnip on our breath. We passed around the packages of kitty treats which I discovered are a favorite of rats and Helen foraged through the refrigerator and found two bunches of juicy carrots. The rabbits were delighted. The racoons, all ten of them, ate a plastic bowl filled with left over spaghetti. “Very good stuff!” said one of the racoons licking his paws.
“Everything was just wonderful” gushed Jerome. “I don’t know what I would have done without you wonderful ladies and gentlemen. The eggs look just wonderful! And the baskets look just wonderful! And my heart is filled with wonderfulness!”
“Yeah, whatever!” Raymond’s teeth clicked with annoyance. “We are all a wonderful bunch of creatures, toms and queens, bucks and does, female rats and male rats! We are the greatest! Now it’s time to go home!”
“Not until I’ve sung my goodbye song in honor of all the wonderful creatures who have assembled here,” meowed Clarence.
“One meow from you, Clarence and I will shove your scrawny tail down your throat!” chattered Raymond. “It is time to go home!”
Thus spake the leader. Everyone nodded. Goodbyes were meowed and squeaked as I watched the last of the Easter rabbits go through the back gate waving their ears in a final farewell. Within minutes the back yard had been cleared of Easter baskets, rabbits, rats and cats. Did we have a good time that night? Of course we did! We had come to the aid of a friend, a rather disaster plagued friend at that. But we were all glad to offer our assistance to this unfortunate rabbit. Except for Sidney’s dark green paw prints left which he left under the kitchen table, our persons hadn’t a clue that anything or anyone had been in the house that weekend, except for us four cats.
The End