The Decorator

by Leo

I was not pleased with my Devoted Slave as I'd found out she was planning to employ the decorator. I hate decorators as they undo years of hard work. Just as the house smells of me and is just right, along comes a man in white overalls who ruins everything with some horrible smelling stuff called paint! Then even when he's gone, for weeks afterwards, my Devoted Slave shouts if I jump on the windowsill as is my custom, "Don't spoil the new paint with your muddy paws.!" You would think she would appreciate feline art better! Muddy indeed, my paws when I wash them every day!" For over a week now, she's had little time for me as she poured over shade cards and wallpaper books. It all looked much the same to me, humans are so strange needing about ten near identical shades of the same colour to choose from! They have such silly names too like lilac love or azure afternoon. The only shade that sounded nice was called buttermilk but why not have mouse brown or fish grey? Then the day came when he arrived, disturbing my beauty sleep, as my Devoted Slave got up early to let him in. I suppose he was a nice enough man, as I heard him promise her to see I didn't get hurt, but I hated him, especially when I wasn't even allowed in the room to watch what was going on and supervise that he did the job properly. The day was wet, so I retired to my Devoted Slave's bed to catch up on my missed beauty sleep, though I was disturbed by the sound of voices and furniture being moved around. I thought I'd play with Ginger but he was nowhere to be seen, my mother and Josephine were following our Devoted Slave around .My mother explained that they were chaperoning her as a strange man was in the house! Ginger didn't come home until mid evening, long after the decorator had left. He was dripping wet and his fur stood on end in spiky clumps. He looked so bedraggled, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as he was subjected to the indignities of being rubbed with a towel like a human. "I'm scared of that strange man!" he mewed." I'm staying outside until he's gone away !" I was more curious than scared and determined to find out what was going on, especially after my mother told me that she was no longer allowed in the room where the decorator was working. I hovered outside hopefully, even though the smell of the paint was horrible. Every time the decorator emerged for a tea break, which was very frequently, I tried to sneak in, but each time he was too quick for me, saying kindly but firmly "No Puss, you can't go in there where's wet paint!" I wondered what was wrong with wet paint as I was always walking on wet grass or wet floors and it didn't do me any harm. I was beginning to despair of ever getting into the closed room when the decorator's mobile phone rang. He'd had it with him all morning but must have left it on the kitchen table when he had his last tea break. He rushed out of the room to answer it and in his haste didn't fasten the door, properly, as you can't fool a cat whether or not a door is latched or not! I seized my chance and slid carefully into the room, pushing the door closed behind me. I could hardly recognise my devoted slave's living room, as all the furniture had been moved to the middle of the room and covered with a sheet. I wondered if the decorator had actually painted anything as the doors and windows looked just the same as before and the paper was still on the walls. I was rather disappointed as shreds of loose wallpaper are wonderful to play with! Then I realised one of the walls was a different colour and smelled dreadful. The decorator had painted it a lurid shade of lilac! I was not impressed. Despite the smell, the room looked to have some interesting opportunities for playing and I ducked and dived under the giant sheet, inspecting parts of the furniture I'd never seen before and seeing how many things I could jump on without touching the floor. I was sorry that none of the ornaments were there, as I'd always wanted to play with them when no one was looking. Bored at last, with the game I crawled out from under the sheets and noticed the decorator had left a lovely cat sized metal box on the floor. It looked a perfect place for a snooze until the decorator or my devoted slave chased me out of the room so I jumped straight in. My paws and my fur were immediately suffered in something soft, sticky and vile smelling. I gave an ear piercing yowl and jumped out and ran from the room as fast as I could not stopping till I reached my devoted slave's bedroom, where I sat on the floor and tried to wash but the sticky stuff wouldn't come off and the realisation hit me that my beautiful ginger fur had turned a lurid shade of lilac! My devoted slave rushed into to the room to see what the matter was and emitted an even more ear piercing scream than I had done. She then sounded for the decorator who rushed into the room,still clutching his mug of tea. "Oh, dear !" he said"I'd better get some turps!" I'd no idea what he meant.I started to whimper .I knew paint was meant to last for years and years and I could just imagine all the other cats in the district laughing at me for being lila! As for my sister,Josephine's reaction, it didn't bear thinking about! Instead of picking me up to comfort me ,my devoted slave, left the room,making me feel more miserable than ever.Maybe she wouldn't want me any more,now I was lilac?I felt very scared. A few minutes later she returned with the decorator, who was clutching a large bottle of clear fluid.My devoted slave was wearing a very old raincoatwhich only intensified my fears she was going to take me away and abandon me. "I'll take careof the carpets and you take care of the cat I'll just bring the turps for you." the decorator said. My devoted slave then scooped me up in her arms and headed for the bathroom closely followed by the decorator. Still holding me, she turned on the taps and began to fill the bath. By now I was starting to feel puzzled as she never takes her visitors into the bathroom or wears a coat in there. The decorator handed her the bottle of liquid and she poured some on a cloth, which she rubbed over me. To my surprise and delight the lilac slowly disappeared to reveal my ginger fur underneath. "Thank Goodness it's coming off!" she said. "I thought it would.," said the decorator." I'll clean up his paw prints while you rinse him clean. Then perhaps we could have a cup of tea ?" I don't need rinsing, I thought, I know how to wash myself. But before I could protest, my not so devoted slave had ducked me in the bath .I struggled frantically but she held me there until she had rinsed me all over with soapy water !" Then she lifted me out of the bath. I felt very bedraggled and miserable as she dried me with a towel. Finally she released me saying." Now don't go near the paint again, you silly cat. You gave me a fright !" She didn't need to tell me as I'd no intention of ever doing so again! I spent the rest of the day hiding under her bed and grooming myself to look presentable before the other cats saw me. My mother, Queenie, found me though and I had to tell her what had happened." Leo," she sighed." Will you never grow up? You'll turn my fur grey?" Then she helped me fluff up and clean my fur and we went down to supper.