Group Interview

by Henri of Twin Brook

In keeping with the holiday spirit, I decided to interview all of my housemates as a group. Me: Do any of you remember a gift we have received which is or was memorable? Helen: Offpaw, I can't think of any gifts that were outstanding. I like the scratching pad which hangs from the doorknob. I have to stretch to use it and it's good for keeping my tummy firm. Sidney: That wasn't a gift! They bought it to keep you from tearing up the rug! Boy are you dumb! Me: How about you, Sidney? Does anything come into your tiny little mind? Sidney: No! I don't like any of the toys I get. They are all stupid! Only a stupid cat would play with them! They gave me that silly ring with the ball inside and I was supposed to bat it around with my paw! Boy was that dumb. After playing with it for a week, I as dizzy and could hardly stand up! Erika: But you played with it! You are such a silly cat, Sidney. I've seen you chasing those toy mice around, batting them into the air, and pouncing on them as if you were the big jungle tiger! I know you like those... Me: I enjoy them too, Erika, although it is a bit frivolous for a cat of my stature to engage in such kittenish play. But once and awhile a cat must let his fur down and enjoy himself...Anyone else got anything to meow? Helen: I guess we should consider everything we have in this house to be a gift. We have soft beds to sleep on. A nice sofa to sit on so we can watch the television in comfort, persons to pat us on the head and pet us and big bowl which is always filled with good food, a water dish filled to the brim and toys. Even if we don't play with the toys, we know they bought them for us because they thought we would have fun chasing them around.... Sidney: Remember that plastic d*g they got which when you pressed a lever it would stand on its hind legs and bark? I was really afraid of it.....I had nightmares....Whatever happened to it? It used to be on the desk in the computer room. Me: I accidently knocked it onto the floor and Ashley our dog, bit the head off of the dumb thing! Erika: Was it an accident, Henri? Me: But of course! I would never harm anything or put anything in harm's way that our persons bought for us! That would be unkind and ungrateful. Our greatest gift is our persons who care for us and ask so little from us. That's the end of the interview, cats.....