Interview With Maggie

by Fern

Our immediate family consists of meowmie, my sisfur, Maddie, and Maggie, the dog. Having lived here only a couple of weeks, I am barely on speaking terms with the dog. When Maggie sees me, she stands stock still and even her stub of a tail doesn’t move. I decided to interview Maggie, from a distance, of course, as she has celebrated six Christmases here in my new home. Me: Well, Maggie, I am looking forward to my first Christmas with you as part of the family. Maggie: To tell the truth, Fern, when I wrote my list for Santa, neither you nor your sister was on it. Me: This being the season for good will toward men, couldn’t we just extend that to cats and dogs? Maggie: I think I’m being pretty tolerant letting you walk around without once chasing you. My experience with strange adult cats had been dismal. Grandmeowmie’s cats and I have had some rough fights when I go to visit so your being here has me skeptical. Me: I grew up with a dog, and despite dogs’ limitations, I do like the beasts. Maggie: I’ll overlook the beast part for now, but why are you chatting with me? Me: I’m curious about Christmas past. What was the best gift you ever received? Maggie: The best gift I ever received was also the worst. My grandmeowmie sent for a real ham bone from a catalogue because she knows my love for bones. Even though many presents were under the tree, I kept sniffing this one package. My grandmeowmie laughed because I had found my gift. When I opened it, I gnawed at that bone for hours. Me: I can understand why it was your best gift, but your worst too? Maggie: It was a ham bone and nobody stopped to think about that. That darn bone made me so thirsty I couldn’t stop drinking. When my meowmie saw how much I was drinking, she realized the ham bone was the culprit. I think I drank water constantly for days. Me: That story makes me laugh right out loud. Maggie: Am I to assume you are laughing about my suffering and nearly dying of thirst? Me: No, I’m laughing because it is so funny that one great gift could turn out to be one horrible gift as well. I want to thank you for sharing this story with me. Maggie: You are welcome but don’t think this makes us friends yet. We are still at the barely tolerating each other point. Now you go back to your area and I’ll stay in mine. Me: That’s fine, but I have to tell you my Christmas wish is we become friends despite your attitude. I look forward to sleeping with you and meowmie in her bed so be prepared!