The Day I Panicked, An Autobiography

by Sage Lucinda BugBug Milliken

I was born in a no-kill shelter in Somis, CA on February 23rd, 1997. I lived there with my mother and my littermates until I was two months old, then we were all taken to a Pet Store where people came and looked at us. I was a beautiful black kitten with green eyes, and it wasn’t long before a woman stopped by and adopted me. While I was sad to leave my mewmie and littermates, I was also happy to be adopted. My mewmie had told me this was the best thing that could happen, and she was quite happy for me, hoping I had found my forever home. Well, sadly, that was not to be. The woman who adopted me took me home and gave me to her brother. It was not a happy situation. Oh, the man never hurt me physically, but he was a most unhappy human. He had many problems, and he was a prescription drug abuser. He often forgot to feed me. Sometimes he would accidentally lock me in a bathroom or closet and forget about me. I was very unhappy, and I became very hissy and growly. I can hardly be blamed. I never knew what to expect from one day to the next. One day the woman who had first adopted me came by and decided I was not being cared for properly. She didn’t want me though, so she gave me to her daughter. Mew. This was another unhappy situation. The daughter was married and had two little boys, and two cats who owned the house. The little boys picked on me because I was so growly, and the two cats would not associate with me because I was hissy. Naturally this only made me more hissy and growly and unpleasant to be around. I was only six months old, and my live was steadily going downhill. Finally this woman too decided she could not keep me. Instead of taking me back to the no-kill shelter she started asking her friends at work if they could adopt me. Finally one woman said yes, she would be happy to have me. You would think this would have made me happy, but it didn’t. Instead I felt a major panic attack coming on. What if the new woman didn’t like me either? Was I going to spend my life being shuffled from one house to another? Why was this happening to me? I was only a kitten, and I really only wanted to be happy. But by this point in my life, I had no idea how to be happy. I only knew how to hiss and growl at people. Well, the woman put me in a carrier, and took me to work with her, and handed me over to yet another person. It was very scary, and I sat in the carrier and hissed and growled up a storm, but to no avail. The new person took me home that night, and plopped the carrier down in her living room and opened the door, and I was met by twenty-four pairs of hostile eyes. They really weren’t hostile, but I thought they were. I actually snarled at them, and then I raced into a room and into the first dark corner I could find, leaving those other cats looking confused and silly. Finally the new woman came in. She picked me up and hugged me, and told me my new name. Then she fed me a special can of Sheba, and told me this would be my forever home. I could only hope this was true, and I rewarded her with a lovely growl. I have to laugh as I remember. Every day this woman picked me up and hugged me and petted me. She told me I was beautiful, and she told me she loved me. The twenty-four pairs of eyes became real cats to me too. They were all very kind and loving, and lots of fun. I gradually began to calm down. It took me a very long time, but I finally learned to be a sweet and loving kitty. I finally understood that I had indeed found my forever home. That was six and a half years ago, and I have never had a reason to panic since then.