New Tricks

by Mewsette

You can't teach an old dog new tricks, they say. Wonder if you can teach a new old dog old ones. Hmmm. Bor-ing. But an old cat can always learn new tricks. I'm still doing it, and if I'm not old, nobody is. See, I figure I've learned all I gotta know at the age of 17. If I don't know it now, I don't need to. I haf a wall full of diplomas from CLAW U, both the old and the new. No way are you gonna get me back in a classroom now, except for the ones I teach. Academe' has had its day. I could lie here comfortably scrunched up against my mom and contemplate all the stuff I know. Bor-ing. But I still like to do new things. I might not think so at first, but then, if they look like fun, I will. And sure enough, it is fun! I also like to try out new habits and adopt new places to nest, just to keep my mom guessing and myself unbored. So that might be something I've learned that stands out. It's not serious, as when I mew about learning to persevere; it's not about self-image, as when I mew about Shining. It's just about everyday boredom. I learned I don't gotta put up wif it. I'm a fascinating cat, after all, wif all kinds of options. I didn't say all options, I just said all kinds of. If boredom descends, I can just get up and go unbore myself. I may go make a nest in my mom's fabrics box. She loved that; it was the most entertaining thing I did all week. I may go flip a scratch pad upside down. My sisfur has a fit, cause she doesn't know how to flip it back. (I don't either, but that's beside the point.) I may pull my littlest water dish clear across the room where Mom can't find it and watch her get her socks wet. I may go out to my enclosed porch and perform a matinee of the last act of Madama Butterfly. The matinee audience is better than the one at 3 A.M., anyway. And my mom doesn't take so long to attend. Okay, this essay was supposed to be about something I've learned. Well, I've learned everything. So it's about learning not to be bored. In case you couldn't tell.