Intellecticat?

by Kitty the Great

Good Day! I am Syrius Lee Einstein, and I was recently born into the House of Mensa. It's a magnificent dwelling for a feline of my stature, and I am very happy here. My mother, Nobility Medallion, has recently given me free reign of quarters and I have made some fascinating, if inauspicious, discoveries. On my first expedition outside of my pen, I encountered another entire group just like us -- we are a CLAN! I made the acquaintance of one Copernicus Galileo. From here on out, he will be referred to as Copernicus G for short. When I came across Copernicus G, he was balanced atop a ceiling fan, one blade forming the apex of which his bulk spilt over. I wondered how in the world he had gotten there and he magnanimously offered me directions. However, I could not realize my goal, being much too short to make the first level of the bookcase in one leap. I found that by starting across the room and scything my way up the leather davenport, I was able to mount the chair rail and carefully maneuver my way around to the desk and then onto the shelf! From this advantage it was a matter of a few small hops to the summit! But ... whoa! What a wide gaping space between the shelves where I sat, and my apogee! Copernicus G is a half year old and weighing in at 8.3 pounds! I, on the other hand, am fresh out of the crate and weigh a scant pound - if that! Copernicus G assured me that I could do this! "Don't be frightend, Syrius Lee", says Copernicus G! Oh yes! Elegant simplicity! Just DO it! I paced a few moments, and then stopped for a bath. "You're procrastinating", teased Copernicus G. Such blandishment, I do believe, I could do without! I studied the fan once more, contemplating and triangulating my best chances. Ultimately, I closed my eyes, making a blind leap of faith, purring for my life as I sailed across the abyss! I had carefully aimed for the blade diametrically opposit the one occupied by my new found furriend, but as he turned to watch, the fan spun and I landed sprawling across the blade next to his. As my front paws slipped past the edge followed by my belly, my rear paws hooked haphazardly below the precipice! "MerOW! HELP ME Copernicus G!!!" With this Copernicus G fell into a fit of laughter and in gleeful gaiety rolled off his blade, sending the fan into a dizzying spin! He, of course, landed feet first upon the floor, and at the sound of human footsteps made a rapid exodus, leaving ME to answer to my befuddled biped! "Oh my goodness, Syrius Lee! What map did you follow to arrive at THIS destination?", he bespoke of me, reaching up to rescue me from my traumatic faux pas. I considered how fortunate I was to have one of the taller models, as he placed me gently back on the floor, admonishing me to stay out of trouble! Behind him, came my mother, to nudge me into the kitchen where she was sure I would be safe and she could keep an eye on me. This was good! In the kitchen I found another new furriend. A scallywag of a miss, by the name of Arcturas Aristophanes. She was involved in a snack of kippers and herring and a bowl of cream and she offered to share them with me! GLORY DAY! Well certainly the way to this kittens heart IS through his stomach, and little Arcturas had me from "mew". Arcturas is a brilliantly all white persian, and daughter of Cassiopeia Delphinus and her beloved wink, Orion Pyxis. She was born a wee little week before I was and together we would spend many glorious hours exploring our domicile. Arcturas had already learned that some places were of particular interest - like the cupboards on the rare occassion when one was left open just long enough for a kitten to slip in! On this day though, being now confined to the kitchen, we opted for elevation and with our mothers mewing grandiloquently on the floor, we simply disappeared unnoticed! What luck that the stool was left beside the countertops... it was just too easy! As little as we are, we would surely have made spectacles of ourselves had we endeavored to make that leap! We nosed amongst cannisters and padded across the oventop, down into the sink, and onto the window ledge. We feared momentarily that the windchimes we'd set off might alert our parents, but so absorbed were they in their periphrastic verbosity that once again we were unobserved. A bit of a stretch against the morning window, just to make sure the birds and the flies knew we were there, and then on down the counter. The coffee pot was brewing, but of little concern to us... we would inch away from it ... a little too warm to nuzzle up to! We did espy a smallish box, and with great curiosity made way to investigate! It stood only about 12 inches in height and was rather narrow. On the top, though, were two openings, and from each came the aroma of something promising! Arcturas stepped upon some bread lying on the counter next to the contraption, and poked her head into one opening. "Oh Syrius Lee! There are sweet crumbs in here! Come see!" Looking around for something to step up on, I noticed a little step on the front of the box! How convenient! It was a rather bazaar little step though, for as I placed my weight upon it, it descended! It finally did engage though, and I was able to reach a paw inside one opening to help myself up. Wouldn't you know, at that very moment some sort of exothermic process was taking place and that bilious box became red hot! I pulled my paw back out of there, tumbling backwards just as I heard sweet Arcturas howl in pain! If you can imagine, there was great commotion and caterwaul! We shot through the room, darting to and fro, barely seeing one another or anything else, knocking over drinking vessels and teapot, with salt, pepper, sugar and cream all coagulating together in a mix of marmalade and stawberry jam upon the floor! The whole shebang! We missed nothing! Our mothers, looking most ashamed and stern, began to scold, but it was all a facade and upon inquiring about our injuries, they were soon licking us and helping us along. My paw was very sore and swollen, but when I finally paid heed to sweet Arcturas, my heart felt like it would simply implode. The dear girls' whiskers and cheeks were singed and she had a quarellsome burn upon her forhead. Oh how my heart ached for her! What EVER had made that box heat up like that? Certainly, it must be defective! The humans keep it ... but I'll not go near the wretched thing again! It is my intention to have it banished from our domain! Thankfully, they did have the good sense to take little miss Arcturas Aristophanes to the veterinarian, who trimmed her whiskers and provided her with a wonderful salve and she healed up nearly good as new. There will always be a slight scar above her left eye ... a reminder of that cataclysmic day. Copernicus G and Arcturas and I have all become very close furriends and share many many adventures together. But for now, I must retire to a sunny spot. I feel a nap coming on. I shall continue my tales another day. It was most pleasant making your acquaintance! Word List Provided by: Henri