OH, the Fourth Of July

by Henri of Twin Brook

Once again, I was awakened from my morning nap by Raymond Hazelwitz' chattered greeting. "Hey, Pusssycat! Wake up!" I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and waved my paw at the rodent. "What brings you out so early, Raymond? It's barely noontime." "It's the Fourth of July, Pussycat! You know about the Fourth of July! Hotdogs, popcorn, soda, steaks and hamburgers, all cooking on the grill, just waiting for my hungry fangs! Then the fireworks!" Raymond rubbed his tummy, his lips spread in a wide rodent grin, which even in broad daylight, looked threatening. "You know about the fireworks and all, don't you, Henri?" "Of course I do," I meowed. "I've seen quite a few Fourth of July celebrations, but they have nothing to do with us cats or for that matter, you rodents." "No, no! You are wrong, Henri. The Fourth of July is for every creature, not just those who walk upright on their hind legs. It's meant for cats and bats, for rats and gnats, for dogs and hogs, for mice and lice......" "I think I could live without the gnats and lice, if you don't mind," I growled, "and I'm not crazy about the dogs and hogs, either." Raymond wrinkled his nose. "They rhymed nice. Brenda and I are taking a course in rodent poetry. But that's not why I'm here. Clarence of the Evergreen Lake Colony, is hosting a Fourth of July Party and he wants all the neighborhood cats and rats to attend, even Sidney." "Clarence? Clarence wants to have a party? I'm really surprised!" I meowed. "I didn't think he really liked that sort of thing." "Yup, I was surprised too, pussycat. But you never know about a cat, do ya?" Raymond grinned at me, his sharp white teeth glistening in the morning sun. "I thought you an me could sorta help him with the planning and all that." "Well I can go around the area and talk to the cats that I know. I'm sure my housemates, Helen and Sidney will help with the contacts. Are we to bring refreshments?" I purred. Raymond shook his head. "Clarence sez 'no' but I don't think it would hurt if we all helped out with the snacks. I'll get back to you by the Wednesday. See ya soon, pussycat!" He scampered into the bushes and disappeared from my view. That evening, an hour after sunset, Helen and I slipped out of the house through the back door. We ventured into every driveway, meowing softly. Within an hour we had contacted Sebastian, Penelope, Sparky and Claude. On Beldon Street, we met Hector and Hester, Frances and Fluffy. Our saunter down Woodin Street brought Whitey, Felix, Buster,Arthur, Rocky and Sam from their homes. All of our contacts had agreed to come to the party. On the way back to our own home, Helen and I met Max who out for an evening stroll. "Well," he hissed, "I'll come, but I don't want that awful Buster, picking fights with me!" Helen purred softly. "Oh don't worry Max. I'll keep him occupied with a game of hearts. He won't bother you." Clarence did quite well at organizing the big July Fourth party at Evergreen Lake. The neighborhood cats scurried about collecting tasty tid-bits, none of which, I might add, came from garbage cans. I purloined a few tins of my favorite cat treats and Helen spent one night, baking up some tasty catnip flavored cookies. How she got her paws on the recipe, I shall never know for her feline lips were sealed. Behind Sebastian's house, Buster and his friend Fluffy had secreted a red wagon under a large, thick evergreen tree. The party goods were stacked there. We had enough savory munches to feed an army of cats! That day, we all anxiously awaited the hour of the big party! Just after nightfall, Sebastian, Buster, Hector and I pulled the heavy red wagon on to the sidewalk and pushed and pulled the vehicle toward Evergreen Lake. Unfortunately, its wheels squeaked and squawked at ever turn. "No good!" hissed Buster. "If we are discovered, that's goodbye party! Goodbye kitties!" "Hold up, pussycats!" A spinning ball of dust careened toward us. "Wait for me!" Raymond Hazelwitz, rodent activist, skidded to a halt, a large oil can, clutched against his chest. "Just thought you might need this, seeing that the wheels of this magnificent chariot are bit rusty!" "You are really a great rat, Raymond!" meowed Buster, gently butting his massive head against the rodents forehead. "You have saved the day and the party!" "Remember me in your will," quipped Raymond while applying a liberal amount of oil to the offending wheels. Soon we were on our way, pushing and pulling our bountiful wagon toward the Evergreen Lake. "Is that Sidney?" growled Hector pointing his paw at a dark figure no more than half a block away. Indeed it was. Sidney, a quart of milk bound by twine to the back of a roller skate, was trudging up the sidewalk He was drooping with fatigue, his breath coming in short gasps. "Boy, this is really heavy, guys!" Sidney wiped his mouth with his paw. "These are the refreshments for the party. Milk is good for you. It builds strong teeth and bones......" "It also gives you stomach cramps, you idiot!" growled Hector. "Cats can't digest milk!" Sidney shook his head. "This milk has a special enzyme in it so a cat won't get all crampy and gassy," he meowed gravely. "You should try it. You might like it." Hector grabbed the strap of the roller skate and pulled the skate behind him. Sidney followed him up the hill and all the way to Evergreen Lake. When we had all arrived, lugging the wagon and roller skate, we were met by Clarence and the residents of the Colony. They had decorated the entire Colony with flags and banners. A chorus of cats meowed "America the Beautiful" to us as we marched through the complex. Quickly we set up the refreshments. Clarence ushered us to a patch of grass covered with soft blankets. "Short cats sit up on the high ground!" he hissed loudly. "Big cats in the front! No pushing or shoving and be orderly when getting something to eat! Don't make a d*g of yourself! And go easy on that there milk! I'm not sure Sidney knows what he's talking about!" We all sat down together. Raymond had invited a few of his rat friends to attend and since rats will eat nearly anything, the refreshments were a big hit with the rodent guests. At nine thirty in the evening as we ate and purred the fireworks began. Brilliant displays of fire and color transformed the evening sky. Loud meows and purrs greeted every beautiful display in the heavens. For more than thirty minutes, feline and rodent eyes gloried in the wonderful sight of the fireworks that some thoughtful humans had provided for all of us to enjoy. This is how we celebrated the birthday of the land in which we all live! And not one cat got a stomach ache!