The May Queen

by Leo

I was sitting on my Devoted Slave's lap feeling rather indignant that she'd invited a friend round .Not that her friends bother me but she won't keep still when they're here. Instead of letting me enjoy my beauty sleep, she keeps getting up to make them cups of tea or show them photographs. Naturally most of the photographs are of me but why can't she get the album out before I settle on her lap ? At least she seemed settled now as she was engrossed in a conversation with the friend. "We ought to go to the May Day celebrations on Saturday." Her friend said." It's years since we've been." "I just love May Day." My Devoted Slave enthused." It's such an ancient tradition dating back to pagan times and yet it still survives, despite Cromwell's attempt to ban it and destroy all the maypoles." Of course the present celebrations in Knutsford only date back to Victorian times and the title "Royal May Day comes from Edward VII visiting the festivities but I believe the Green man is a universal character as I saw something like that in a documentary about tribal people in Cameroon. " The friend laughed. "I'm not interested in all that history ." she said." I just like to watch the Queen crowned and see the children dance round the maypole. Maybe if we go early, we'll see the sand decorations on the pavements too." "My Mother used to recite a poem which began "Call me early ,Mother ,as I shall be Queen of the May." my Devoted Slave said "I never knew how it ended but I think it was sad but as a little girl I dreamed of being May Queen and having a train and a pretty white dress." " I'll see you on Saturday about noon." Her friend said as she got up to leave. My devoted Slave did likewise evicting me unceremoniously from her lap ! My mother, Queenie liked to know what was going on and insisted I tell her all about the May Queen when I told her that our Devoted Slave was going out on Saturday. "It sounds nice being May Queen." She said.! We could celebrate May Day ourselves while our Devoted Slave is out watching the ceremony. Why don't we have our own ?" "You'd make a beautiful, Queen, Mother," I told her. and was rewarded by an approving purr. "What about me?" snapped my sister Josephine "I thought a May Queen was a young unmarried girl and mother is plump and middle aged !" "You're plump and middle aged yourself !" I snapped, swatting her with a well aimed paw "Kittens behave !" our mother chided. Ginger who'd been listening curled up on his favourite chair joined in the discussion. "I once heard our Devoted Slave say that when she saw Queenie she said she was the most beautiful cat she'd ever seen. !" he said" Why with a name like Queenie, surely that means she is a queen already ?" Josephine was out voted and had to content herself with being maid of honour while I appointed myself the May King. Ginger was too self effacing to object . I sat by the open bathroom window making plans until a cheeky magpie interrupted my thoughts as it called out "Can't catch me from the rooftop !" It had recently moved into the area and our Devoted Slave was always remarking on what a handsome bird it was. As it was too big to be captured even by hunting skills, I just wished it would either learn some manners or go away rather that sitting on my roof ! Saturday dawned bright and sunny much to our delight and our Devoted Slave rushed around getting ready. She left promptly at noon, admonishing us to be good in her absence. We'd planned our celebrations carefully and invited our friends Jack and Tigger from the nest street to watch while Polly and Molly and Floppy the white rabbit turned up from nest door uninvited. We ignored them but let them stay. My mother had thought long and hard about what to wear. Originally she'd thought of Our Devoted Slave's best nightgown but on realising it was far too large for her and decided fur was better, as after all humans only wear clothes to cover their ugly wrinkled pink skin. However she decided she wanted a train to cover her tail, which has long been a sore point for her, as not even her most devoted admirer would think of anything good to say about her tail, which is a thin miserable appendage, better suited to a mouse than a cat ! I fortunately must have inherited my magnificent tail from my father as did my sister, who for all her faults has a nice tail, though naturally not as fine as mine ! We found a piece of material that Our Devoted Slave was planning to ask a friend to make into a curtain. She has many talents but sewing and a good memory are not amongst them and the material had been lying in her room for weeks. My mother decided it would make a perfect train and appointed Ginger her train bearer. Now all that was needed was a crown. Again we were luck as our Devoted Slave owns a gold charm bracelet which she usually keeps locked away. However earlier in the week, she'd worn it to go to the theatre and it was still lying on the dressing table. What more could any May Queen want than a real golden crown ?Our Devoted Slave would never know we'd borrowed it. Everything was ready, we even had music as we switched on Our Devoted Slave's compact Disc player, which will all the doors open was audible in the garden. I didn't know what kind of music May queens liked but decided Wagner's Ring Cycle was as good as anything despite Jack and Tigger putting their paws over their ears when they first heard it ! Josephine denied a central roll in the proceedings, declined to be maid of honour and retired to the garden wall to watch balefully as I crowned my beautiful mother with the gold bracelet and Ginger and I danced round the maypole, or rather the apple tree using the ivy as ribbons.. My Mother purred happily as she watched us. The bracelet was far too large and hung down over her ears, but, she was happy . Then catastrophe struck in the form of the terrible twosome gang from down the road. I didn't know their names. They were two large tom cats and the local bully boys who had a few weeks before got into our house and stolen our food. Our Devoted Slave had thrown water at them and I thought she's chased them away for good, but I was wrong ! First they sat jeering on the wall, " Silly sissy dancing boys, playing with such girly toys !" Ginger and ignored them and continued our dance. We were getting tangled up in the ivy and wanted to finish on a graceful note. Then the terrible twosome charged. Queenie tried to fight back but was hampered by her long train, The guests fled, deciding discretion was the better part of valour, Ginger and I tried to defend my Mother while Josephine hissed unprintable insults from the wall. Ginger fled, his ear bleeding and my mother and followed suit. We consoled ourselves with a large dish of our favourite food which our Devoted Slave had left us. Ginger's ear had stopped bleeding and we concluded that overall our May Day had been a success as we'd almost finished when the Terrible Twosome struck and we'd had fun celebrating the old English customs. Then Queenie took off her train realised that the gold bracelet was missing ! "It will be on the lawn "I mewed "It must have fallen off when we hurried back inside. We peered out of the cat flap cautiously, there was no sign of the Terrible Twosome as we carefully retraced our steps. apart from some yowls which appeared to originate from several streets away. The bracelet had disappeared without trace though. Ginger started to cry. "Our Devoted Slave loves that bracelet," he howled. "Her Aunt left it to her Whatever shall we do ?" "She won't know that we took it." Josephine said." Maybe she'll think it was a burglar or that she lost it." "She knew when you took her ornament." I pointed out "You told her !" Josephine retorted ! "Children !" our mother admonished us Before she could give us her usual lecture on how a well brought up cat should behave ,we heard a mocking squawk from the roof. We looked up and saw the magpie with our Devoted Slave's bracelet in his beak ! We stared in horror wondering however we could get it back. Then I had an idea. "Keep it occupied." I hissed to the others and rushed indoors before they could reply. I knew magpies liked shiny things and I'd remembered the tinsel my Devoted Slave had decorated her tree with at Christmas. She kept saying, she was going to put it away in the attic but it was still in her bed room. I grabbed it and rushed downstairs with it streaming behind me. To my great relief the magpie was still puffing out its feathers with pride as it perched on the roof. I called to it. "I've got something much nicer than you have and you can't have it !" I pranced round the garden letting the sunlight catch the glittering strands of tinsel. I hoped the others would realise what I was trying to do. My Mother suddenly lunged at me mewing. "It's so pretty I want it !" We pretended to fight and I dropped the tinsel, all the time watching the bird out of the corner of my eye. As we moved further away from the shiny strands. Unable to resist the lure of something so sparkling, the bird swooped, the bracelet still in its beak, as it grabbed the tinsel and flew off, the bracelet fell to the ground. I grabbed as the bird soared over the roof. "Well done !" my Mother and Ginger congratulated me. "I could have thought of something better." Josephine grumbled." What will our Devoted Slave say when she sees the tinsel is missing ?" "I don't think she'll mind." Ginger replied. I think tinsel costs a lot less than gold bracelets and the tinsel didn't belong to her Aunt, she only brought it from the shops last Christmas." "And I heard her say it made a mess on the carpet." My mother added. "Now let's put the bracelet safely back in her room." As I made my way towards her dressing table, I heard the sound of her key in the lock and hastily dropped it on the bedroom carpet before she could come upstairs. She spotted it at once lying there. "You naughty cats playing with my bracelet !" She said. "Still I should have put it away." She locked it her jewel case as she spoke. That evening I over heard her talking to a friend on the phone." I still keep finding bits of tinsel all over the carpet.' She said." I don't think I'll bother decorating this year, especially as I always forget where I put the decorations!" Later she settled down to watch television and my mother jumped on her lap. "it was fun watching the May Queen being crowned today." She said" But you're just as beautiful as any May Queen ! My mother purred happily in secret knowledge that she was Queenie, Queen of the May !