A Job Fur A Well-Spoken Kitty

by Phelicity

I've had many impurrtant jobs in my life, and still have some right now. From working the Beauty Contest circuit as a young showcat, to being a ballet dancer in the evenings, to being a Kitty Nurse when my mom is sick, I've been very good at all of them. I don't get many chances to show my superior skills as a nurse, because my mom doesn't get sick often enough. That's good, though.

My sideline was always Upholstery Redesign, and I'm very good at that, too. You should see our couch, which is exactly as old as I am, for an example of my creative work. Mom used to call it the $500. scratching post. Now she just calls it Phelicity's Couch. But I'm very petite, and all that upholstery stuff is heavy work. I'd like to do something more useful.

I think one impurrtant job a cat can do is to be a Language Teacher. Just think how many humans claim they can't understand what we're saying. We should teach them. I'm very patient, tolerant and long-suffering, so I'd make a good teacher. Of course I expect to be understood, no matter what language I'm speaking. My insistence on that has worked very well in teaching my own human, my mom.

My specialty is sacred Far Eastern languages used in temples, and I speak several of them fluently. You'd be surprised how great a call there is for that! I'm also extremely good at English. My mom understands and even writes down the words I say in English. That's so she'll remember when I say them again. I'm proud to say I even understand Texanese, though I don't speak it. And I daresay many of us cats are fluent in languages nobody even expects, so we certainly should be teaching them.

One nice thing about the job of being a language teacher is that we can take long naps while our human is pondering the depth of what we have taught them. Lots of long naps. In another room, preferably, where we won't hear them laughing. Yes, that's the job for me.