Kitty's Christmas Preparations

by Kitty

Christmas is coming soon! I can tell. Even though my humans have not brought a tree indoors yet. And even though no bows or pretty paper are being strewn about yet, I can still tell. Meowmie is coming home sometimes with lots and lots of bags! And she's hiding them in places only I am allowed to get to! Sooooo... what? Does she think I am a stupid kitty? (i guarantee she can not!) And so... being a little more than 7 years old and a mathmatician extrordinairre, I am certain that "lots of bags" = Christmas! And THAT means I must make some plans.

Soon Meowmie will start decorating. That means I need to brush up on my "batting" and "pulling" skills. She likes to wrap all the doorways with fancy ribbons and bows all the way around. My job, of course, is to pull them all down! She seem to like this game and we play it over and over again throughout the holiday season. Last year I think I finally won! (the dog might have helped.)

I also need to practice my "stalking" and "pouncing" exercises. These are very important when the family is writing and addressing holiday cards. During this traditional family activity I have a most important roll. Being my most stealthy self, I circle around the table until I'm positive no one is expecting it, and then, like a bolt of lightening, I jump onto the table, POUNCING the nearest available pen! Of course, everyone jumps and they all make pretty marks across the card or envelope they're writing on. Meowmie used to make them throw those cards in the trash -- but that was when I was just a little kitten and my artwork wasn't very good. Now Meowmie says "It's okay. Just tell them Kitty was adding his personal touch, and that he sends his love too." Practice makes purrrrrfect... that's what I always say.

Of course, the arrival of the tree is always a special time. I wonder if other families buy their cat a tree for Christmas? I can't imagine Christmas without one, myself! My Daddy usually brings it in and stands it up near the window. He shoos me away a LOT during this process.... but I furgive him because I know he's just trying to get it purrrrrfect before he lets me have it! That's part of what makes it sO special! Once it's just right, then he digs out the lights and moves on to the "detangling" job. While he does that the tree is MINE! ALL MINE! I don't get out furry often, and when I do I have a tendancy to be ... ummm... hmmm.... a little ... er... cautious! (yea... that's right... cautious! not scared. ungh-ungh... nope... not me!) So, when I get the chance to climb a real live (well, almost live) tree, right in my own living room, well HECK YEA! I'm gonna be JUMPING on that chance! I guess that means I better be warming up my climbing muscles and maybe practice a few high jumps too!

After they put the lights and decorations on my tree they get real STINGY about it. This part drives me nuts, because if they're going to buy ME a tree, why don't they just leave it alone and let me enjoy it? Hissssss... you know humans. They always have to be "decorating" everything! Well... I have to admit that the BALLS are fun! But they get real nervous when I play with them too! Again... MY tree? MY toys! If they don't want me to play with them, they really shouldn't put them there! Besides, I do TRY not break them. It's really not much fun when they break. Anyway... after the lights and decorations I really MUST go into "stealth mode".... practice, practice, practice...

On Christmas Eve, after the short humans have gone to bed, Meowmie and Daddy fill up the stockings and put cookies and milk out for Santa Claus! This is my fay-furrrr-ite part of the night, because when Santa comes, he always shares the milk with me!

He'll dunk a cookie or two, but he never drinks all the milk. Says he gets too full if he drinks milk at EVERY house. So... Merry Christmas to ME! I dO like that Santa guy! He leaves me presents too! One year he left me a Kitty Salon! Ohhhhh I do LOVE my kitty salon! And that reminds me of the last thing I need to do to get ready! I have to get presents for my people!!! I heard a mouse down in the basement last night... Meowmie really LIKED it that time I left one in her shoe... I gotta GO now! Merry Christmas to you!