A Scary Story

by Henri of Twin Brook

By now every cat must be acquainted with my housemate Sidney. Although Sidney is a very nice looking feline with his glossy black fur and big round eyes, he possesses few redeeming features. None of the cats in the neighborhood care much for him. The other toms won't beat him up or harass him, mainly because I, Henri smacked a few of them around when they gave Sidney a bad time. After all he is a "brother" of sorts.. We must share the same litter pan.....

I never know what to expect from that cat. Last night, when both of our persons had left the house (does any cat really know where these creatures go when they leave the premises?) Sidney came rushing down the attic stairs, his tail blown up like a balloon, his eyes wide with fear. "It's going to kill me!" he shrieked. "Don't let it get me! It wants to eat me like a can of tuna!"

"What are you meowing about?" hissed Helen. Erika had climbed some of the attic stairs and peered into the dark room above.

"There's someone up there," she cried, a tremble in her meow. "Sidney is right. Someone, human or beast has invaded this house......"

Sidney had wrapped his paws around my neck which made it very difficult for me to walk up the staircase. . I pushed him away, but his paws grabbed at my hind legs, pulling backwards. "Will you let go Sidney!" I growled. "I can't see what's upstairs if you don't let go of my legs!" Reluctantly, the terrified cat released his tenacious gripe on my hind quarters. He whimpered, piteously, until Erika cuffed him on the nose. Carefully, silently placing my paws on each stair. I was near the top of the staircase when I heard the noise. My blood froze (can blood actually freeze?). Indeed Sidney had been right. Something was in that darkened room. I could hear its movements, the scratching sound it made as it crossed the floor. It seemed to be dragging items from one side of the room to the other. I crept forward toward the doorway of the room, ready to spring and pounce upon the enemy. Helen and Erika clung together, which was unusual as they really don't like each other all that much. I raised my paw to my mouth, cautioning them to be quiet. All I could hear was the beating of my own heart and my own breathing.

The scratching increased. The noises grew louder as more items seemed to be dragged across the floor. I gathered my courage and lunged at the darkened doorway. A startled screech rent the air. My blood curdled at the sound. There, standing upright on its hind feet, was the biggest rat I had ever encountered. Even the very worst back alleys of my youth had not produced such a formidable looking creature!

"Hey there!" it growled , "what's the chance of getting some light in here? What's the matter, the occupants forget to pay the electric bill last month?"

"I beg your pardon," I meowed politely. "May I have your name please and would you please explain what you are doing here?"

"Raymond's the name!" chortled the rodent. "You know..... that T.V. show 'Everybody loves Raymond'. was named after me. .. So true, so true. Everyone love me, my mater and pater and the entire community! I am Raymond, rodent activist at your service!"

"Sort of a strange name for a rat," I remarked with a purr. "Would think maybe Richard or Reginald or perhaps Rufus would have suited you better. But what exactly are you doing in our house?"

"What am I doing here? Why the monthly meetings of Rodents Against Tyranny or R.A.T. is meeting here. Of course I missed the past eighteen meetings but it's my turn to host....So here I am...." The rat smiled baring its teeth. They were the longest, sharpest teeth I have ever seen. "Well, I hope every rat in the area will come." He paused a moment, staring at the window. "It's getting dark.....They've usually arrived by dark....This is 9 Woodin Place, isn't it?"

"I'm think not. Woodin Place is a few streets over, to the east. What exactly is your group all about? What tyranny are you fighting against?"

"Well," said Raymond, "our group is fighting against the oppression of our race, namely rats. It's really trying to stop the aggression of cats toward our species. In other words, we would like to remove all cats from this planet...."

"Really?" I meowed loudly. "You'd like to remove all cats from this planet? How interesting...."

"Bad choice of words.....I can see that....heh..heh. .Very bad choice of words being that you are of the feline persuasion.....Didn't notice that at first, light being rather dim. Perhaps R.A.T. would be willing to settle for a few restrictions......I shall bring that up at the meeting if I am able to arrive at the meeting, that is, if I can find the place, but that will probably depend on you, wouldn't it. By the way, cat, I didn't get your handle......."

"Handle? What handled," I hisssed. "Is that a weapon of some sort?"

"Handle means your name, pussycat. What's your name, pussycat? Wasn't there a movie by that name? 'What's your name, pussycat?' What is your name?"

"My name is Henri. I am Henri of Twin Brook. I am master cat of this household and manage the ongoing daily operations of this establishment.

"Like doing the laundry, taking out the garbage, yum, yum, cleaning the commode, changing the bed linens and vacuuming the floor? That kind of stuff? My you are important, Henri of Twin Brook...." Raymond grinned at me baring his long, sharp teeth. He was not just a big brown rat, but he had a mouthful of fearsome weapons at his disposal. Truthfully, he was not a creature I would care to do battle with.....

"You had better leave if you wish to participate in this meeting of rodent minds. I, Henri of Twin Brook shall guarantee safe passage from this house. And I do hope you will alter the purpose of this noble society. Cats, as you should know, are perfectly willing to negotiate...."

"If you say so, pussycat. By the way, who is that big eyed, whimpering fur ball at the bottom of the stairs? He looks like a balloon about to go airborne. Could I give him a little nip on the butt?"

"Raymond, please no! He would never stop screaming! Sidney's enough of a problem as he is! He doesn't need another excuse to complain." I tapped Raymond on the head. At no time did he show any fear. This was one tough rat! I escorted him to the back door.. As he passed Sidney crouching on the staircase, the cat suddenly lost his dinner. Another mess to clean up before the persons arrived home....Helen ran to the kitchen to get paper towels.

I accompanied Raymond to Woodin Place and together we found the correct address. Rats of all sizes and colors were entering the house through an open window in the basement. "It looks like it's going to be a good meeting," squeaked Raymond. "We should change the name to Rats Against Tyrannical Species. R.A.T.S. .

"Sounds impressive," I agreed with a purr. "Just don't include cats...."

"It's a done deal, pussycat. See ya!" He disappeared the through the opened window and into the darkened basement. I could hear the chattering of the rodents who had gathered there and I wondered if I would ever see Raymond again.

Slowly I walked home through the back yards and alleys of the neighborhood, peering under porches and into garbage cans. I met a some former acquaintances of mine and we stopped for a few minutes to meow and catch up on the news. A rat, gray and sleek scurried by, the remnants of someone' s dinner, a corn cob, clinched between its teeth.. It paused long enough in flight to cast a wary glance in our direction, its dark eyes gleaming in the light of the street lamp. We did not chase it. We left then, each to our own home, whatever and wherever that might be....
Sometimes I miss the old crowd......